Hovans Angel Reflections

Following my recent blog post on When Listening Turns Into Fixing , I have been reflecting on how we hear and interpret what is being said in different ways. This brings me to my next topic, We Hear What We Want to Hear , where I explore how our own experiences, beliefs, and emotions can shape our understanding of others. I have noticed how uncommon it is to truly hear one another. Many conversations become focused on replying or proving a point, rather than understanding what is being expressed beneath the surface. Genuine listening asks us to pause our own assumptions and take in another person’s experience as it is shared. Because the truth is, most of us do not. We hear what fits. What feels familiar. What confirms what we already believe. And everything else gets filtered out. Sometimes this shows up in small, almost invisible ways. A conversation where you walk away thinking, “That is not what I meant at all.” Or when you try to explain yourself, only to realise the o...

  It often starts as a simple conversation. You are talking with your partner about everyday things: work, errands, and the usual rhythm of the week. Then something shifts. They pause. Their tone softens. You sense that something is not quite right. Naturally, you want to help. So you lean in and begin offering suggestions. You try to make sense of what they are saying. You reassure them. You look for ways to fix the situation. It comes from a good place, a genuine desire to support and ease negative feelings. But then, something changes. They respond, but not in the same way. Their answers become shorter. The openness that was there just moments ago begins to fade. The conversation feels slightly closed off. It is subtle, but it is there. As Stephen R. Covey observed, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”   In moments like these, we can gently slip into that pattern, listening just enough to respond, to advise, to fix...

  Counselling can feel unfamiliar if you have never experienced it. Many people hesitate to seek support because of myths, assumptions, or things they have heard from others. But the reality is often very different from what people expect. Let’s unpack three common misunderstandings about counselling and the truth behind them. 1. Myth: You only see a counsellor when life falls apart Truth: Counselling is not only for emergencies. People seek support to better understand themselves, manage stress, and improve relationships . It is a tool for growth rather than a last resort. Think of a counsellor as a personal coach for your mind and emotions. For example, someone feeling constant pressure at work might think counselling is “not for them,” but even a few sessions exploring coping strategies, communication skills, and daily routines can make a huge difference. Counselling helps with  navigating challenges before they escalate , so life feels more manageable. 2. Myth: Counsel...